Art For The Sake Of Art

[pintopiaffe]

I was working on my barns today, with a fellow police officer who came over to help.  The subject came up of a particular case of which I (obviously) cannot get specific, but suffice to say a thirteen year old girl and her seven year old sister were victims of repeated rape, by a family member.

I was driving home tonight and the first item on the news was war.  The second was  23 women and children trampled to death.  The third was the funerals of those who died in the tornadoes in the midwest last week.  

I have mentioned before the complete split I sometimes feel when I try to reconcile the 'hobby' of horses and the children with whom I work with those horses.  Those children are homeless.  Often abused.  Always troubled...  It can just be so absurd to be considering spending several THOUSAND dollars on saddles, when your students sometimes don't know where their next meal is coming from.  Or where they will sleep tomorrow night.  

And at times like tonight I just think I should chuck the whole thing.  The money I put into the horses... feed, equipment, stables... God forbid the huge, unconscionable amount I've dropped on a month of training for my boy.  It just seems too obscene.

And yet... how can the soul not seek beauty and peace.  Sometimes, it seems, not in spite of the chaos, but because of it.  

If I could paint, I would paint the sky... in it's winter mystery, it's summer-storm fury, all it's moods and magic... I might paint wildflowers, or mountians, or autumn landscapes.  If I could play piano, I would write complex, marching anthems... and soft, lilting dances in major keys.  If I could sculpt, I believe I would choose the horse... forming the muscle, sinew, over bones... shaping the movement to the one in my mind's eye as ideal...

I cannot do any of those things.  My muse is more mundane, and yet far more spiritual.  It is the Horse.  

When I ride, I *must* let go of all else.  Ego, stress, fear, pride... must all be left behind if we are to dance.  The horse DEMANDS my complete focus and attention if we are to become partners.   I must subdue my body, seeking balance, lightness, perfection... it is HARD.  It is the hardest thing I do sometimes.  

When I am with them, they are just as demanding, but it is more subtle.  If I pay attention, it is all so simple.  So natural.  If I am distracted, or rushed, or angry... it all goes wrong.  

When people ask me why I choose dressage... I can't answer that well.  How do you explain that first passage, or half-pass, or line of tempis that made your pulse race and your stomach clench like fresh love?  How to translate the feeling of... of... that--whateveritis--when you achieve those few steps of throughness and grace... ? How do you tell people that a part of your soul is torn and bleeding from the loss of your best mare...

Words aren't enough.  

I still cannot reconcile the cost of having horses with the lives of the students they teach.  I don't think I ever will be able to.   But the students intrinsically recognize these beings who are so wise for their age, so kind and trusting.  Is not that snapshot  of a child resting it's head in the hollow of a horse's neck, also Art?  And if that snapshot is not on film, but rather treasured in the heart... it's value is not lessened.

We can argue for days and years abotu this school and that school, Baucher and Rollkur (each as evil in their day; ) competition vs. not...  in the end, we ride for just so very few reasons... recreation or excercise... adrenaline... ego... or passion.  

When your passion is to create and become something that is beauty and grace, a partnership in balance...  none of it matters.  Not saddles or breed, or school or bit or anything else.  Just the passion matters.  If you can put the ego behind and seek the highest form... then it is Art.

[epona]

WO!! You write beautifully PP   You put into words how I feel around horses :blush:   I have always said horses are my therapy!  When I ride I get so lost in the moment, time stands still, not another thought enters my head - I am in BLISS :blush:   No matter what kind of day I have had, how black my mood is, I am always uplifted when I see my horses.

Some people spend money on big houses, fast cars, latest fashion, latest therapies in order to find peace and happiness.............so why should we feel guilty of spending and investing in such a more worthwhile pastime  

[Kandi]

It sounds like perhaps you give those kids a piece of exactly what you describe in your post?

[shoveltrash]

beautiful post.
like Kandi, i think you probably do give those children a piece of this as well .

i too feel very selfish sometimes, thinking about the money i spend.....
but in the end it is my "Grande Passion"
and how dull & meaningless life would be without it! :blush:  

[Funky MeerKAT]

Thank you for sharing that Jaeme. Have printed it off to keep.

[Jaydee]

Lovely words and easy to empathise with.

But the money thing...why make a stick to hit yourself with? You choose what to do with your money, and on the way, you benefit yourself, your horse, and some of the humans with which you come into contact. You are also a better person for it, more evolved, and more fun to be with because you have your Art.


Money can be poured into human problems and have little influence (see 'Aid in 3rd World Countries') and depriving yourself of what does it for you is not going to be helpful to those sad lives that affect your thoughts so much.

However, what can and will affect those lives is 'The Dream'. The Dream of getting away, doing better, having a horse, painting a picture, playing guitar.........by showing people how to Dream, you show them that anything is possible, no matter how far down you start.

It is those who never realise they can Dream who never make it out of the abyss, because they never think they can.

 

[Marengo]

Jaeme, I understand how you feel about the money thing. I've been sat here 10 minutes trying to put what I'm thinking into words without it sounding facile.... Here goes... People in need rarely benefit solely from having money thrown at their problems. The stuff they lack is the stuff that can't be seen, touched, traded or bartered. The kind of resources people in need most benefit from, beyond the immediate need for basic shelter, food or medicine, are time, love, attention, concern, guidance, a listening ear, hope, inspiration.... Sometimes it's just easier to give a whole heap of money than just an ounce of the above.