How on earth do I deal with this behaviour???

[issywizz]

Just catching up on this and as I read through I came to the conclusion that Flintfootfilly does above.
I seriously think there is something physical going on and would add ulcers to her list which is in a good order.
If you were to work through that list and come as far as the vets examination then I personally would take him to an expert with equipment for scanning and x raying the whole horse especially back and neck.
Has he ever had basic neuro tests done? as I would consider that very seriously and its easy and cheap enough to get done by a half decent vet.
I understand your frustrations but I dont believe that *any* horse is 'bad',they just cant talk to us.
If you are feeling this frustrated then you should definitely have a break from him as all the negativity will do neither of you any good 

[Nix77]

I have nothing helpful to say, having no experience whith such a tricky horse. Just  .

[Fizzbw]

Given his aversion to vets, is there mileage in giving him a bute or two to see if there is any difference with his behaviour? It could show you if pain is an issue. I know its not the most best way of doing things, but I have found it a useful diagnostic tool in the past.

I think it sounds as if he has a pain issue, and if he goes bonkers when the vet is about it is going to be hard to pin point it isn't it. Do you know WHY he is like that? My first pony was like that as she had had a horrible injury caused by a rug sircingle which caused fistulous withers and muscle damage down her side - she wouldn't let a vet near her without being utterly dangerous. Thankfully when she broke her splint bone she was better behaved which saved her life. I digress - maybe Bob has had a previous problem that is still causing a problem?

I know what you mean about feeling deflated - I've been there as well. I've found that since I started clicker training I am far more positive about issues and am better at not feeling overwhelmed about them - CT teaches you so well to break things down to sizable chunks. I do think that you need a professional in to help you - Jenni Nellist is my teacher and she is a total star - but she's in Wales.

That said, it may be time to have some time out - turn him away and minimize your contact for a few weeks until you are in a better headspace - this might give you a new perspective as well, and might do Bob some good not having you feeling stressed and upset around him at the moment. I know my horses pick up on my vibes and if I am feeling stressed or depressed that is guaranteed when they play up.

Hugs

Niki xx