This is where it is so, so much easier to learn lateral work in hand, and also to teach the horse from the ground Mary!

Fanta and Becky demonstrating SI from the ground.
Never try to start any new lateral movement in trot. Walk gives you time and the horse, it takes longer to cross his legs than to go in a straight line too, especially when learning!
Once you have established leg yield, then shoulder in would come next, but I cannot imagine not teaching it in hand first. We really must get Becky doing the DVD of in hand work!
But from the saddle, have you got a copy of my book, Enlightened Equitation, which contains, I hope very clear instructions on the aids for shoulder in and why.
I dont know what was lost in translation with Anja's book, but I never teach the use of the seat in lateral work- it is likely to make the rider try to shove the horse sideways with the seat which blocks the horse. Don't think about even trying travers/renvers/half pass before establishing shoulder in though!!
For shoulder in, the horse must bring his forehand off the track and cross the front legs. The hindlegs stay on the track, feet facing forward moving in a normal straight line, for a three track shoulder in. On three tracks the horse makes one track with his outside hindleg, a second track with inside hind and outside foreleg, and a third track with the inside foreleg.

See Jenny's little horse Becket in one of his early attempts at shoulder in- you should have seen him this afternoon, only two months later, producing some fantastic SI and also very correct travers and half pass! I just wish I had the camcorder handy but couldnt find the wretched battery charger!
The rider turns the body to the inside, so that you are mirroring the position of the horse with your outside hip pointing down the track in line with his outside shoulder. Apply the inside leg at the girth, with the swing of the horses belly as it swings to the outside, releasing the pressure as the belly swings back ( but not letting the lower leg ping off) not behind the girth, or you will merely get a leg yield.
Flex the horse to the inside, by 'sponging' on the inside rein, inside hand raised a little outside rein against the neck, acting with slight little nudges with the rein against the neck, (a bit like neck reining) to encourage the horse to move his forehand to the inside. Be content with a few steps to begin with, three or four are a great start! Dont worry if it is a bit leg yieldy to start with, getting the horse to understand that you want him to move forwards obliquely is quite enough for the start.
DON'T try to use your seat!! Using your leg with the swing of the belly automatically advances the seatbone in the direction of the movement, without any shoving with the seat!
Hope this helps for starters!
Heather