Bit of a laugh......

[von10]

A little something I wrote for a H&S newsletter recently....... Enjoy (but be careful reading it)

Rats, drills and lawnmowers all drive Britons to hospital beds. And watch out for those pyjamas……..

Danger lurks in the strangest quarters, and the road to A&E is rarely straight. The cost to the National Health Service of such unusual accidents is believed to be about £1 billion a year. Rats, crocodiles, beds and pyjamas all left unsuspecting victims needing medical treatment while earthquakes, volcanoes and the common garden lawnmower also took their toll.


No laughing matter…….
•   37,048 people had to go to hospital because of mishaps involving slippers
•   1543 unfortunates somehow managed to sustain injuries involving tissue paper
•   371 poor souls had accidents putting on their underwear
•   59 people got hurt in accidents involving Blu-tack!

Home truths………..
•   51 people were bitten or crushed by reptiles’ 5 were bitten by venomous spiders, 24 people were bitten by venomous marine animals and plants, and 22 people were bitten by a rat
•   190 people had to spend time in a hospital bed after “coming into contact with plant thorns, spines and sharp leaves”
•   369 people were treated in hospital after incidents involving lawnmowers
•   3,038 people were injured as a result of “contact with a non-powered hand drill”
•   4 people were assaulted by pesticides
•   389 people were admitted to hospital after crashing their bicycle into a stationary object, whilst 31 children under the age of 14 got on a motorcycle and crashed it into a car
•   754 people were scalded by hot tap water
•   24 were burnt by “ignition or melting of nightware”

Strange goings on………...
•   4 people were admitted to hospital after suffering “accidental suffocation and strangulation in bed”
•   A man and a woman spent seven days in hospital between them after a “prolonged stay in a weightless environment”
•   a total of 189 patients needed treatment after “foreign objects” were accidentally left in their bodies “during surgical and medical care”

Holiday abroad???????
•   five people were victims of earthquakes, 45 people were victims of volcanic eruptions, 20 people were victims of avalanches, and lightning also struck 65 times — but not in the same place twice


Feel sorry for……..
•   a man who fell down the stairs and broke his leg. He didn’t want to bother calling out an ambulance to take him to hospital so he called a taxi instead. Unfortunately the taxi crashed on the way and by the time he arrived in A&E both legs were broken.”
•   47 people who were injured (fall) whilst cleaning the inside of their wheelie bin

And finally………….
•   a remarkable 96,000 people each year end up in A&E after being hurt when relaxing, sleeping or lying down!

Yvonne.

[Sonora]

Holy Hannah! They did not mention sneezing, my healer is treating a friend for a sneeze-sleep related incident. I try not to laugh, it seems unkind, but still I do :(

[1 morejump]

  I know some of those people!  My friend's roommate at college crashed into a parked car while riding his bike :.  He hit it with his shoulder and the car looks like it was hit by a car, not a guy!  He also took off the rearview mirror!  (but he does have nice big, broad shoulders  8))

My mom had a mishap with the lawnmower, she was going down the hill and at the bottom it hit a bumb and bounced back up and hit her in the face with the handle!  For a few weeks she looked like she should have been in a women's shelter.

[Unfinished Monkey Business]

I know some of those people!  My friend's roommate at college crashed into a parked car while riding his bike :. 

I've done that as a kid!!

A mate and I were jostling for position on the path, and a car was parked half on/half off the pavement.
There was only room for one bike to get through the gap that was left, and we were going flat out, shoulder to shoulder to get through it.

Anyway, I was on the outside, and as we approached the car, both still going hell-for-leather, he gave me a big shoulder charge, and I smacked into the front of the car, and shot up the bonnet and ended up sprawled over the windscreen!!

Didn't damage the car or my bike fortunately, just got up and rode away sheepishly.
  ???

Jason

KYFP.

[tubby]

I used to work for the MOD stationed at a local ROF & one job I did was the injury reports. The things that people did to themselves caused much laughter,one was a case where some women on the factory were taking their lunch break lying sunbathing on the lawn & a man working on the roof fell on top of one of them causing her to be admitted to A&E.Another was a man that slipped on the edge of a pit & crushed his testicles. The most common was the Military police being bitten by their dogs,usually at least two a month.

[Kandi]

So its not just me who is calamity jane.....that made me feel a whole lot better !

[Jolene]

We rent our second house out and our renter told us an interesting (if not unnecessary) story...  Apparently when he was working up on some scaffolding he slipped and fell and, well...  Crushed his bits to, erm, bits!    Now that's just gotta suck...