O/t-diary Of A Mad Snow Shoveler

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In light of the recent snow storms we have had here in Colorado (boat loads of snow, and more coming) I have decided to share with you the Diary of a Mad snow shoveler, its long but well worth the read.

December 8th - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9th - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12th - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14th - Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15th - 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska after all.

December 16th - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel

December 17th - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. God I hate it when she's right. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighborhood kid to shovel, but they said they're to busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22nd - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sh*t fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to p***. By the time I got undressed, p****d, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.

December 23rd - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts?  Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did, but I think she's damn well lying.

December 24th - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the idiot who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his neck. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25th - Merry  Christmas. 20 more inches of the @#$%%^&*(!-slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude.  :lol: I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her

December 26th - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27th - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28th - Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29th - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever hear. What an idiot Bob is. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30th - The roof caved in! The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her Mother. Good riddance. 9" predicted.

December 31st - Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8th - I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?????

Just wait we're half way there!
 

[Linda Baia]

   

My first and second winter in my mountain village ( 900 m alt, not really mountain) had the most snow the Italians had ever seen.

So the first days went exactly as described :

SNOW - WOW - SUPER let's ski down the road before the snow plow comes. OH isn't it so beautifull all this white. What beautifull landscapes ...

Shoveling driveways - snow plow passed - shoveling driveway.

Going down our mountain - quick picking up Olly from school - it started to snow -

Aaaaarrrrrrrghhhhhhh, ice under the fresh snow, car is ALL OVER the road.

$%%^ snow plow did not pass - must leave car in the street as we cannot go up the hill - walking home carrying shopping and 4 yrs old in tow aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhh

It is all true .NOW I HATE snow with great fervour  

Weird enoug this year, we do NOT have any snow ... I am not complaining, but I am worry about this summer. We won't have any water   :(    

[paulam]

Have they untied you yet???????

[epona]

     

Very VERY Funny - For me that is!!!  Obviously not for you :P  

[toni]

Brilliant!!  :lol:  :lol:  

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You have no idea how utterly close I am to this !  Christina too, I might imagine.

[paulam]

I'd tell the same story about rain. Bloody rain.

But at least I don't have to test myself against shovelling it. that would get me locked up and tied down!

I've only known that amount of snow once - 1982 I think. Walked to the next village at least a foot on top the hedges, all the roads filled in with snow. 20 ft snowdrifts......... no water, no electricity, but lots of snow riding.

I was about 12. It was lovely..............

Now.......... that amount of snow would be a major headache!!!!!

The bad thing is though that there is absolutely no snow in worksop! In Sheffield I lived high enough up to have snow every winter. But still be able to walk to work.

No snow here since we moved here 6 years ago

Lots of rain though.............


 

[dubhcapall]

Hi Paula,
Here in Australia we are all wishing it would rain!    Could you please send some of your excess rain our way?  :lol:  Snow would be far too cold, just the rain would be great! We are on the highest level of water restrictions here in Toowoomba Queensland, no outside use of water at all. I am lucky now as my only water is from 4 big water tanks...but it takes rain to keep them full!  Mind you, I am sure I would get Seasonal Affective Disorder if it did rain all the time here!  

[Torsornin]

its actually _SNOWING_ here and I am elated. I cant stop smiling.

I love snow more than anyone else. I love shoveling and everything! My whole family thinks I am crazy...I positively LOVE to take care of the horses in the winter...even carrying all that hot water to the barn for them to drink up (well what I didnt slosh on to my legs) immediatly on arrivial isnt enough to get me to dislike the white stuff.
I own x country skis, snowshoes, and 3, yes _3_ pairs of ice cleats (so I dont fall at the barn lol) I love winter    :thup: